What is it with this guy?

I'll admit it. I'm one of those crazy ladies that have DECORATIVE, or DO NOT USE towels (did you hear that Big J?!!) I have told him! Does he not hear me?! Maybe I should post a HUGE sign above the towels to remind him everyday. I love chili peppers. I have search high and low for chili pepper kitchen items, ie, the kitchen towels! I finally found a set in Dallas. Beautiful. I hung them on the oven door, folded nice and neat, and they screech DO NOT USE ME OR THE LADY OF THE HOUSE WILL HAVE YOUR HEAD SEARVED ON A PLATTER!! Also, to lessen his temptation I have ( as usual) a nice flour sack kitchen towel with nice embroidered picture of a woman slaving in the kitchen (ok, she isn't slaving, she looks more like the June Cleaver type, you know where you slave all day at home and never break a sweat, then Ward comes home and you say NO PROBLEM DEAR, HERE USE MY BEST TOWELS TO WIPE THE LIPSTICK OFF YOUR CHEEK DEAR!). Do you think that possibly he could use that towel that is old and worn and does have June Cleaver screeching "Use me dear". NO!!! He, I guess because he is a male insist on using my beautiful chili pepper towels! *excuse me while I scream*
Then there is the kids bathroom. Because the kids are grown and gone, the only child here is A and he would not and can not grab a towel when he gets out of the tub, mostly because his routine is 1. take a bath. 2. through as many toys into the tub as will possibly fit. 3. let me lay in the tub until I am a shriveled up prune. 4. When I am done I will announce to you by standing up in the tub and banging my head on the tiled bath tub wall. (this is his routine, you can not stop him, I have stood right with him with the towel ready to wrap him up and remove him from the tub, but still because of his compulsiveness he has to bang his head, part of bathing routine. and yes, there is a crack in the tile from his head. Thank goodness he has a hard head. Oh yeah, he's laughing the whole time too). In the bathroom closet is a STACK of bath towels. One day I asked dear ole hubby will you please go to the kids bathroom and LOOK IN THE CLOSET! and bring me a towel (I should have done it myself, I know, but I was sopping wet!). Now do you think dear ole hubby looked in the closet like I asked? NO!!! He grabbed one of my Laura Ashley towels off the rack! What am I going to do with that guy!!??
I guess I'll have to make him write 100 sentences "I will not use Pam's beautiful towels". Forget that 1,000 sentences and it may sink into his head! It's a good thing I really love this guy, and I kinda like him too! Ha